Favor....

3.30 am
my eyes feel like they have grains of sand in them - again
past three months have been endless cycles of
seven am to three am
papers, exams, books,
clients, refugees, phonecalls,
meetings, forums, workshops,
homesickness
i am tempted to grumble
so long since I had a free weekend
watched a television program
watched a movie with my husband
since I had time to do my hair and nails
go shopping
hang out with friends
tend to my plants or decorate my house
write letters, send gifts, write poetry, make cards,
read, connect with old friends, travel
catch up with my niece and nephew
i am tempted to grumble.

i look on the floor
and watch my husband
sleep
peacefully
must be uncomfortable
I did'nt ask
but he wont go to bed
not while I have a major exam to finish
he will sleep there
till morning if need be
supporting what sometimes
seems to me
an unachievable degree
he believes for me when I lose faith
insisting on cooking and cleaning
without complaint
without keeping score
so I can work without having to worry
always saying 'its ok'
no matter how disappointed he is
when I cancel another plan, another date
he may have to go on his own
offering to make a dreaded trip to the library
(he hates books and libraries)
then driving across town to buy my favorite dinner
on a day that he was so tired
making spontaneous trips to the store
at odd hours of the night
to buy carrot cake, ice-cream, red bull
lots of red bull
just to keep me going
spending precious weekends at
libraries, conferences, in the house
just to be with me
letting me spread books
journals, papers
all around the house
(he hates untidiness)
'dont touch that pile, or that pile, or that pile'
till he has no place to sit and watch tv
or even eat
having to watch the hallowed final four
with headphones on
all evening
so I can concentrate
and all without being asked...

was tempted to grumble
but I just realised how lucky I am
to have you share this journey with me
no one else could be better
so instead
i'll say
Thank you
From the bottom of my heart
You've made the past three months worth
plugging through

a very happy Birthday to the most selfless, loving husband I know
i'm grateful for every day you're with me
I love you
Your Queen Bee
wasiwasi