Dont even think about it....
Deepak Chopra once said ‘cancer is caused by unresolved emotions that eat away at you; majority of cancer patients have anger/pain/emotional baggage that they’ve never let go of’ apparently its Chinese wisdom. In that spirit, I make it a point to ‘let go’ of my baggage every now and then, and I strongly encourage you to do the same. So here’s my clean-up for the month…..
I have a huge beef with people who use the term 'friend' loosely. People who, in the name of friendship, abuse other’s trust, time, emotions, and sometimes even finances. Friendship is one of the most basic human concepts, even children in a kindergarten playground get the rules, responsibilities and privileges that come with being a ‘friend’ or better yet a ‘best friend’. So why is it that some ostensible adults just don’t get it? It’s important that every now and then we stop and re-evaluate what kind of friend we are: Do you give as much as you take? Do you say thank you? Do you put your friends down or help them up? Are you really who you claim to be? Are you there for your friends when they need you? Do you treat your friends well at all times, or do you ignore them when you’re around certain kinds of people? Think…….
I’m not easily annoyed; there are very few things that get to me (which ironically my sister’s say is very annoying!). Apart from a bold African mosquito, one thing that’s sure to get me so mad I make a hornet look cuddly is friends who write emails and letters when they’re upset about… whatever! It’s unrealistic to expect that you and your friends will always agree on everything and always get along (and if you do you need to see a counselor), but here’s my thing, if you don’t have the balls to say something to someone’s face then you have no business saying it at all. It probably means what you have to say is not fair/right anyway because if it was honestly bad, you would have no problem spitting it out. Typing out little funny letters and dropping them off just when you know they’re not around, or or typing up emails and quickly pressing send when you know they’ve probably just gone to bed is a cowardly and immature way of dealing with things. Of course it’s easier to say cruel and insensitive things when you don’t face people because you don’t have to be responsible for what you say or deal with the consequences of your actions. If you have a war to fight, just quit sending smoke signals and get into the battlefield already!
From a psychological viewpoint (of course I had to bring that in), so called ‘friends’ who choose to deal with problems in this manner are mostly interested not in resolving the issue, but in drama. If they were really interested in getting over what was bothering them, they would have looked for an expedient and amicable way to resolve the issue which is obviously to talk about it and move on. Let me show you what I mean: They send you a letter, then of course they make themselves scarce, then you call and leave a message, then you probably write them something back, then they misinterpret something you said and now they’re even more upset (apparently), then you write something to clear that up which they now find offensive, in the meantime your friends are now taking sides….what the ?*%$! Case in point, I received one of these (I can’t say it enough) very annoying and obnoxious letters once and I promptly advised my ‘friends’ that I don’t do letters/emails/smoke signals/maasai deliveries/minaret calls/bird calls/drums…you name it. If you can’t talk to me when the sun is out, dont talk to me when it’s raining, it’s that simple.
So here’s some good advice, the next time someone sends you one of these interesting tumessages… beware. And to my friends… if you ever ever find yourself itching to resolve an issue without talking to me directly, just scratch yourself and move on.… (Deepak was right, I think I just added a couple of years to my life!)
Have a stress-free healthy month wont you?
Wasiwasi
I have a huge beef with people who use the term 'friend' loosely. People who, in the name of friendship, abuse other’s trust, time, emotions, and sometimes even finances. Friendship is one of the most basic human concepts, even children in a kindergarten playground get the rules, responsibilities and privileges that come with being a ‘friend’ or better yet a ‘best friend’. So why is it that some ostensible adults just don’t get it? It’s important that every now and then we stop and re-evaluate what kind of friend we are: Do you give as much as you take? Do you say thank you? Do you put your friends down or help them up? Are you really who you claim to be? Are you there for your friends when they need you? Do you treat your friends well at all times, or do you ignore them when you’re around certain kinds of people? Think…….
I’m not easily annoyed; there are very few things that get to me (which ironically my sister’s say is very annoying!). Apart from a bold African mosquito, one thing that’s sure to get me so mad I make a hornet look cuddly is friends who write emails and letters when they’re upset about… whatever! It’s unrealistic to expect that you and your friends will always agree on everything and always get along (and if you do you need to see a counselor), but here’s my thing, if you don’t have the balls to say something to someone’s face then you have no business saying it at all. It probably means what you have to say is not fair/right anyway because if it was honestly bad, you would have no problem spitting it out. Typing out little funny letters and dropping them off just when you know they’re not around, or or typing up emails and quickly pressing send when you know they’ve probably just gone to bed is a cowardly and immature way of dealing with things. Of course it’s easier to say cruel and insensitive things when you don’t face people because you don’t have to be responsible for what you say or deal with the consequences of your actions. If you have a war to fight, just quit sending smoke signals and get into the battlefield already!
From a psychological viewpoint (of course I had to bring that in), so called ‘friends’ who choose to deal with problems in this manner are mostly interested not in resolving the issue, but in drama. If they were really interested in getting over what was bothering them, they would have looked for an expedient and amicable way to resolve the issue which is obviously to talk about it and move on. Let me show you what I mean: They send you a letter, then of course they make themselves scarce, then you call and leave a message, then you probably write them something back, then they misinterpret something you said and now they’re even more upset (apparently), then you write something to clear that up which they now find offensive, in the meantime your friends are now taking sides….what the ?*%$! Case in point, I received one of these (I can’t say it enough) very annoying and obnoxious letters once and I promptly advised my ‘friends’ that I don’t do letters/emails/smoke signals/maasai deliveries/minaret calls/bird calls/drums…you name it. If you can’t talk to me when the sun is out, dont talk to me when it’s raining, it’s that simple.
So here’s some good advice, the next time someone sends you one of these interesting tumessages… beware. And to my friends… if you ever ever find yourself itching to resolve an issue without talking to me directly, just scratch yourself and move on.… (Deepak was right, I think I just added a couple of years to my life!)
Have a stress-free healthy month wont you?
Wasiwasi
posted by Wasiwasi at 12:03 AM
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