Oh no you di'n!!

So this whole thing with Mo'nique and United Airlines... I'm sorry but i'm going with Miss Mo on this one. If you have no idea what i'm talking about...apparently sometime in late July the comedian Mo'nique got kicked off a United airlines flight for being a 'threat'. The whole thing started when her hair stylist (who was in coach) put a hair dryer in one of the first class luggage bins where Mo'nique was sitting, and for some strange reason this did'nt tickle the flight attendant who told Mo'nique ‘Listen, you need to let YOUR PEOPLE know … if they don’t straighten out their attitude I’ll have them thrown off this flight’ to which Miss Mo replied 'No, you're not gonna speak to me like that. You're not gonna be rude and disrespectful' and the rest is history.
Is Miss Mo a diva - yeah... is it possible she could have been a pain when disrespected.. yeah - should'nt we all be? Usually celebrities and their barbie lives dont interest me that much. I tend to have enough drama in my life to keep me busy but this incident hit home for me because just last week I said to a friend I will go stark raving mad if one more person talked to me about 'your people'. In the past two weeks, i've been asked "why is it that your people always seem to have good nails and hair while claiming they are poor and have no food to eat?" and "your people can dance but they never take any classes so in the end its just that - street dancing (on so you think you can dance)" and the clincher; last week we were at a grocery store and the attendant kept looking at us funny (you KNOW what i'm talking about!) the 2 people ahead of us got a hi and a thank you... when we got to her it was "Hi, and how are YOU PEOPLE doing today?". aaaaiiiii! What people? What are you thinking when you say that? Honestly, I for one just dont get it!
I know I have a lot of sensitive bones when it comes to these issues, and I know "your people" could mean a lot of things. But here's my beef - given black history, and the nature of relationships that have existed between blacks and especially caucasians, and in this wonderful era of 'political corectness' why why why would anyone want to use 'your people' when talking to a black person? Even if you dont mean it that way - whatever way that is - what do you think i'm thinking?
I personally find 'your people' insulting. Obviously because I dont own any people, but mostly because I never get it when people dont realise blacks are just like caucasians and everyone else: just because we have the same color does'nt mean we belong in one big lump. Whenever I fill out forms I get so upset when they have African-American and no slot for African I usually add my own box and put a huge tick in it - and No, it is NOT the same thing! (dont get me started on that)
I believe in Unity not division, but most of all I believe in the beauty that resides in our differences. I believe in speaking up and in dialogue, rather than pretending these things dont exist; this is the only path to learning and to peace. Of course a lot of strides have been made to repair the atrocities we have committed against each other - some of us more than others, but I also think we still have a long way to go. Political corectness, affirmative action.. all these have made sure the 'front face' of prejudice was taken care of, but there are many many other faces in this battle and now there are countless 'little' battles yet to be won. We have opportunities to overcome these battles by being careful not only how we speak about ourselves but how we let other people speak to us, think about us, relate to us, give us the same sensitivity and treatment they would afford if we were not 'black'. How you let others treat you is how much you think of yourself. For those of you who said why did'nt she just shut up and sit down... where would we be if Luther shut up and sat down? Miss Monique - Your people does'nt sound right to me either I dont care what was being referred to and if you dont like it you dont like it so you go girl! I hope no one is tempted to ask me about 'your people' again soon.....

Disclaimer: Its my opinion: how I see it, what I think and how I feel.

And there shall be no more sorrow nor tears....

Yestarday I experienced one of those moments that hit you on the back of the head and remind you just how precious and fleeting your life can be.
I was rushing around my usual busy day when a dear old friend called me up. She was passing through town.. had a few hours to spare..could I please drop everything and rush over..(I'm so used to it). Then she said one of her family members had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Since they were only in town for the evening we opted on hanging out with them so we could all share our rare out-of-town guests. Now, you would think that given the fact that this was someone I did'nt know, it would have been an awkward and difficult visit. Most people in this situation would wonder what to say, or how to say it. On the contrary, we had an amazing time! Her family (most of whom I knew from before) had such open hearts and a beautiful open home so we just fitted right in. We talked and laughed till late, sharing life experiences, and stories of travels and adventures across different continents, and places we would still like to visit. I was having such a great time at one point I stopped and marvelled that there was someone who was ill in our midst. You could'nt tell if you did'nt know. I dont know what it was about this particular individual that made such an impression on me. As I sat next to him in conversation, it really struck home that I could'nt imagine what it is like to sit and laugh with your family and not know for how long you can do that, or to talk of your hopes and dreams knowing you might not live to fulfill them all, or to tell stories of the past knowing those memories may be wiped away sooner rather than later. I dont know what it would be like to know you may never see your child all grown up, and I definitely have no idea what its like to wake up every day and stare all these unfathomable questions in the face. Yet, the whole time we were there he laughed, shared, gardened, took a walk, and talked of his illness... and he did it all with such grace.
As we were driving home I realised that even though I had met terminally ill patients before, I had never met one who seemed so open about it, so brave and so accepting of it. The more I thought about it, I realised I never heard this individual talk of any regrets. He seemed to have lived his life authentically, and he seemed to be fulfilled; He talked of the good times and good experiences, of the fact that he pursued a very succesful career that he really enjoyed, and of his wife and son.
I hope I never forget the thoughts and feelings I had last night after the time we shared. If nothing else, I hope I always remember how important it is to live authentically and to be fulfilled so I dont ever have to have regrets. And there shall be no more sorrow or tears.. I remember hearing this Bible verse over and over but yestarday for the first time, I understood the comfort it was meant to bring. Life truly is a gift.

Wasiwasi